Cheerful Glamour Shell

Please expect slow and spotty shipment!
Prices in USD and will ship from New England—please contact for local Toronto pickup.

Our newly improved, special-quality Cheerful Glamour Shell has been described by our many satisfied customers as "Endless Grace," "Timeless Elegance," and "Perfect Beauty." A striking and unusual new concept in the field of shell design, no expense has been spared in the development and production of this, your new sea friend. The ideal companion for even the most curmudgeonly old trout, just one glance at its delightsome visage will capture your heart forever. Featuring a convenient real shell look, nine fun-time mystery actions, and two perfectly googled eyes, you may rest assured that it shall forever remain the finest of joke articles.

But that's not all; for centuries, the Cheerful Glamour Shell has been an esteemed and cherished ally to those afflicted with the miseries of melancholy and despair. Whisper your secrets, your desires, and your darkest shames to your shell, and feel your spirits uplift, as they become your shell's burden to bear with a smile on its face. Studies have shown that simply looking at the shell can lower stress levels and improve mood, and its design and color have been shown to stimulate the brain and promote creativity.

Many people know just how fascinating a shell can be, but they may be wondering how much trouble they will also be. The simple answer is that they are not much more trouble than a cat. Your shell is not a wild shell but has been bred and raised scientifically by breeders with years of experience, meaning most shells are affectionate, docile creatures unless you tease them. In return for its amiable good nature, beautiful appearance, radiant splendor, and lively companionship, all it requires is a little regular care. Taking care of your shell is easy; simply wipe it down with a damp cloth, provide daily freshly-squeezed orange juice, and give it your constant, undivided attention.

Each "Special Quality Basic Glamour Shell" comes in a high-quality limited edition corrugated clamshell box lithographed in four process colors. This handsome collector's item is certain to be cherished for generations to come. Truly a lifetime possession. Within each box, you will find a "Know Your Cheerful Glamour Shell" care guide with shell facts, important safety information, grooming tips, poetry, and explicit breeding instructions. You will also receive an adoption card with a loyalty oath, crinkled-cut packing paper in a most agreeable shade of green, and much much more*. Enjoy hours of fun and amusement without danger!

You can have all this for the Incredibly Low Price of Just $29.99**! Order your shell today for endless happiness tomorrow! Due to high order volume, our factories are working over time to fulfill customer demand. Each Shell is hand assembled in the USA to the exacting brand standards of Value Palace.

*"Much much more" In this case refers to two "stick-all" disposable stickers.
**Plus Shipping & Handling. Terms & Conditions May Apply.
*** Please note that Value Palace Glamour Food is temporarily unavailable after a series of customer complaints regarding its safety We stand behind the quality of all our products, but have been advised by our legal team to discontinue its production until legal proceedings have been resolved. We thank you for your patience.